Tag Archives: boundaries

How Big is Your Drip Line?

This week I have been enjoying the book The Wisdom of Stability: Rooting Faith in a Mobile Culture, by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove.  Based off Psalm 1, he uses the metaphor of a tree to describe the stable life.

Look at a tree on the landscape out your window and you will notice that it is shaped something like a geyser, reaching up in the single column of a trunk to spray out in limbs, most of them bending back toward the ground. Follow the downward slope of those bending branches as if they were the fluid spray of the geyser, and you can sketch out a circumference on the ground around the trunk of any tree. That circle is called the “drip line.” Without digging below the surface, it offers a pretty good sketch of how far away from a tree its roots reach for the water and nutrients it needs to flourish. Trees vary a great deal in size, and any tree, given the time, can extend its reach through growth. But it is important for the life of a tree that its extension above the surface not exceed its growth below. Stability depends on a tree knowing that its root system beneath the surface limits its capacity to send out limbs and produce fruit. In short, everything depends on the drip line. For people on the go, the root system that a drip line traces may feel more like a limit than a gift.

As a young father, I often feel like the boundaries placed on my life limit my freedom, but this metaphor reminds me that by raising my children in a Godly way, I am actually expanding my root system. To put it simply: these boundaries are expanding my capacity to produce fruit! But don’t just take my word for it:

Paul Wilkes…reflects on his resistance to limits as a young person, saying, “I bridled at restraints; I moved again and again. There was always something more out there I wasn’t finding.” For Wilkes, this led to a midlife crisis about the true meaning of freedom. “I looked upon married life and children as punishingly restrictive and certainly not a path to holiness or heroism,” he confesses. “After my devoted attempt to be a man of the world, I swerved onto other paths, believing I needed to live with the poor, then to be a monk, do some work of great value to humankind. Something out of the ordinary.” All of this frenetic searching eventually led Wilkes to what he calls a “desperately unhappy existence.” Free to pursue any life he could imagine, Wilkes found himself unable to really live.Considering the practice of stability some two decades after this crisis, Wilkes is able to name how his own salvation has depended on accepting the limits of marriage. “With two sons embarking on their teenage years and a working wife, my freedom of movement is severely restricted, my own desires secondary at best. Yet I experience some of the richest days of my life.” No longer free to do whatever he wants, Wilkes sees that he is free to love particular people whose needs he knows. To be sure, that circle of people is limited, circumscribed by the drip line of his life. But as he establishes roots of love, Wilkes can see that he is now able to grow. The boundary lines of his life and love expand as his roots grow deeper.

This book won’t stop prodding me where it hurts, insisting that the grass on the other side of the fence is just that, more grass. In the long run, it won’t taste better than this grass, and the hassle of getting stuck in–or addicted to going through–barb-wired fences is just not worth the bother.

So how big is your drip line? Is it growing as you commit to a place, and to loving the people in that place? Or is it shrinking because you run away from your problems…


Addicted to Social Media? Try Creating Proprietary Spaces

If you are addicted to social media, or just want to limit your intake, here are some suggestions from the book: Follow You, Follow Me: Why Social Networking is Essential to Ministry by John Fred Frank Voelz III (which, by the way, is currently on sale for 3.99 for Kindle).

  • Set up a time when you plan on checking your Social Networking platforms and limit yourself to that time. I do this in many areas of ministry. I only counsel on Wednesdays. I only allow myself to run one satellite group at a time. I don’t answer my phone after 5:00 p.m. I don’t talk church business with staff once I am home.
  • Some limit their Social Networking to certain days or to only so many minutes a day.
  • Leave your computer at the office at night. Turn off your smartphone. Set your preferences in Twitter to only notify you during certain hours. Don’t allow your tweets to go to your SMS on your phone like all your other text messages. Don’t allow Social Networking to alert you through e-mails when you receive new messages.
  • You may want to create proprietary spaces. These are the spaces dedicated to engaging in certain activities and only those activities. When I was growing up, I could not bring my toys into Grandpa’s den. That was the spot where he unwound, smoked a pipe, and watched TV. It was dedicated. Pick an area (a desk in the lobby, a coffee shop, and so on) as the place where you engage in Social Networking. Sometimes when we limit ourselves to spaces, it enables us to create other sacred spaces that become an important part of our ability to disconnect, meditate, rest, breathe easy, remove distractions, study, pray, and so forth. If you sit at your office desk and have a hard time knowing whether to do the schedule, make the call, read the book, do the follow-up, or check your Facebook, you may need to create proprietary spaces.

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